I want to remember this forever!!!!!!!

*This is your warning that some strong language is embedded into this post. I wanted to keep this one real, and actually reflect what was going on in my head. Now you know*

There is something to be said for not having time to think about and over-think about and worry about things.

A few days ago I was given the opportunity to go skydiving- a tandem skydive. Now, this is something that has never been on my bucket list in any form. Not that I held any scorn towards people who have gone- the opposite is true actually. It's just not something that I ever pictured as right for me. I mean, my hobbies include scrapbooking, cooking and yoga for heaven's sake! Not much of an adrenaline chaser, am I.

My immediate thought was:

Or even possibly, "Hell no!"

But then I had to look at it this from another perspective. This was an amazing, generous, incredible gift that was being offered to me. Just because I had never considered jumping out of an airplane before did not mean that I couldn't consider it. And always I have stood at crossroads and said to myself- "Will I regret doing this? Or not doing this?" But still. This is jumping out of an airplane I was considering. This is not one big-ass roller coaster, or buying a scrapbook store. This is borderline insane.

You can guess what I decided. "Hell, yes!" I came to the conclusion that it scaring the crap out of me was not a good enough reason to not do this. (Full disclosure: it was more of a "Okay." The end result is the same, right?)

On Friday,  I contacted 'Hippie', who is in charge of this adventure, (and the person who will be attached to my backside) to find out when this is going to take place. This weekend, was the answer (aka the next day!!!!!!!) In the frenzy of back to school preparations the whole business was pushed to the back of my mind. 24 hours really is not enough time to work yourself up into a good worry.

This morning we woke up after a good sleep in, had a leisurely breakfast, and although my nerves were starting to ramp up, I dressed in my super girl shirt and we were outta here!  Off to Eden North!

I'm gonna fly!!!!!

We got to Eden North just a group of parachuters were coming in for a landing. It was incredible to look up and see that colourful parade overhead.

I was greeted right away by Hippie, and he quelled my nerves immediately by wrapping me in a big bear hug. That doesn't often happen when you first meet a person, but considering what we were about to do, it was absolutely settling. His enthusiasm and not-a-care-in-the-worldishness was contagious.  "Let's do this!!!!" my soul screamed!

We watched a video on what to expect, signed all kinds of waivers, and I got suited up!

Heh, heh! This is what I posted to my Facebook...

We had a bit of time to wait as Hippie had another dive scheduled before ours. We took up a spot outside and watched the people on the ground and in the air. There was only one person in a back brace; I figured that put good odds in my favour. Mark ran into some of his students; we pretty much expect that wherever we go. We watched a group land (on purpose) in a nearby pond. One of the landings seemed a bit crashy and the experienced looking people stood up to observe, but calmness remained. (For a place overrun with adrenaline junkies, it was surreally un-chaotic and unexpectedly mundane, but with a weird anticipatory vibe.) All was well...

And then. It was time. Hippie was back, the next plane was ready and the videographer/photographer was ready to go too! The following photos are all Aidan's.

Just walking towards the plane. Cool as a cucumber....

Wasn't that nice of them to catch this photo? I am now looking at the plane and the horror of my situation just got real.

 On the plane we went. Hippie was so good at keeping me moving and not thinking and just talking calmly with me as if we were choosing a wine for dinner. Not potentially climbing into the clouds to our certain death...

I am totally faking this smile.

The plane took off. The calmness in the cabin was not enough to counter the holyshitwhathaveIdone feeling that was welling up in me. I had a minor freak out. Hippie told me to quit it, because Aidan was about to take a picture. You'd never know unless I told you, hey?

We finally reached altitude, and the pilot gave the signal to open the doors. The experienced people eagerly moved to the exit in whatever formation they were going to be jumping in. Hippie was also eager, and since I was literally attached to his hip (maybe thats how he got his name?) I went where he went. He calmly, but firmly edged us to the door, and nary a moment was given to pause and think. I was told to hang on to the holders on my sleeves so I couldn't get in the way of the parachute deploying. I think this is a lie. I think my hands needed to be there so I couldn't cling to the plane as we exited. There is no feeling that I know the name of that could describe what it feels like to stick your head out of a moving airplane. It's not what I would call a 'good' one. All bravado is now gone and my soul is no longer chanting encouragements to me. No greater good is being served by this madness...

This is what pure terror looks like. I am so glad I wasn't doing a solo jump, because this is where the story would have ended. 

So here is how I describe Hippie. A calm, mellow person who pushes people out of airplanes.....

I had one job to do as we exited the plane, and that was to push my hips forward and lift my legs up, in a lovely arch. I pretty much lost my beans and went into a fetal position. Poor Hippie had to steer us unaided.

We jumped at 12,500 feet, and fell through space to about 7000, (or 5000- I can't remember which) feet before opening the parachute. Which is a long way. Which is a lot of air rushing up your nostrils. Intrepid Aidan is trying to get me to smile, or look his way or do anything interesting for the camera. This is pretty much my thought process as this was going on:

HolyfuckIcan'tbreatheThereistoomuchairandIcan'tfuckingbreatheWhythehelldodogsliketosticktheirheadsoutthewindowThismuchairinyourfacesucksIthinkIjustgotagulpofairthatfeltgoodButnowIfuckingcan'tgetanotherTheysaidthispartwouldtakelike40secondsandthisisthelongest40fuckingsecondsofmylifeAndseriously!Fuckingaidanwantsmetogiveathumbsuporasmileorsomethingotherthanafuckingguppyfaceforthecamera....

And we hurtled towards Earth. In theory, all that upward push could be like a little facelift. In reality we were turned into wrinkle dogs!

You can tell Hippie has experience! I finally got my hands into a thumbs up position, and there I remained frozen for another 50 photos. Frozen in stone, I was a parachuting gargoyle! And I don't know how I managed that smile...

Lol! I need to tie my shoes! The parachute opened up, and this is where the magic starts...

 Parachute open, we slow down enough that I can breathe again. And the beauty took my breath away.  Pure magic. I am struggling to find the language to describe this experience. Hippie was talking to me now, and telling me about the landscape etc, and I had to tell him to stop talking now and LOOK! Just look!!!!!  There are so few perfect moments in the world where you want to just be. Just BE. Just let every sense you have soak up the awe and wonder and perfection and crystal blueness of this big sky and this shimmering landscape and this peace and this piece of wholeness and just be. in. the. moment. before. it. all. slips. away. A-fucking-mazing!

Greater good is up here!!!  If everyone did this, peace would flow to all corners of the earth because you cannot help but see the world in a bigger way.

This doesn't even begin to show what it's like. You can't feel the sunshine, or the breeze. You can't hear the ripple of the parachute. You can feel the pull of gravity and the push of wind resistance existing in harmony. You can't see light dancing playfully across the earth. You can't hear what peace sounds like.  

 It was over way too fast. I never want to forget this ever.

Too soon, too soon, we are coming in for a landing.

I have one job here, and that is to lift my feet and let Hippie handle this. I think I got a gold star for this one!

Yeah. It was okay.

Nope! It wasn't okay. It was overthetop amazing!!!!!!!

Safe and sound on solid footing, it was overwhelming to see my family there waiting. 

Today I flew and touched the heavens, but my heart and soul are right here.